Greentext · 4 minThe Loose Brick

>be me, 9 years

>summer of 1993

>two months at tatayya's house in a village near tenali

>big old house, red oxide floor, a cowshed at the back

>two buffaloes, one calf, one cat that belongs to nobody

>i have never told anybody this

>not amma, not my cousins, not my wife

>behind the cowshed there is a wall of old red bricks

>no plaster, just bricks and moss

>one afternoon my cricket ball rolls behind the hay

>i go to get it

>my hand touches the wall near the bottom

>one brick moves

>i pull it

>it comes out like a drawer

>behind it there is a hole

>dry, dark, the size of two fists

>i put my hand inside slowly, scared of scorpions

>nothing, just cool dust

>i put the brick back

>i look left, i look right

>only the calf is looking at me

>from that day it is mine

>my bank, my locker, my secret

>first i keep my best marble, green with a crack inside

>then three one rupee coins from the uncle in guntur

>then a picture of kapil dev cut from sportstar

>then a peacock feather i found on the bund

>every afternoon at three, when everybody sleeps

>i go to the cowshed with a bucket, like i am helping

>i take the brick out

>i count everything

>i put the brick back

>ten days like this

>then on the eleventh day there is one extra thing

>a peppermint

>the white round one, wrapped in a twist of newspaper

>i did not put it

>i sit in the hay and think very hard

>my cousins are 5 and 6, they cannot even find their slippers

>the servant boy ramudu goes home at noon

>ammamma does not bend, her knees are bad

>tatayya is 71 and he coughs the whole day

>so who

>i eat the peppermint

>i am scared but i eat it

>two days later there is a fifty paise coin

>new, shining, the one with the map of india

>then a small rubber band

>then a laddoo in a banana leaf, a little bit eaten from one side

>now i am sure it is a ghost

>a ghost who likes laddoos

>i do a test

>i tear a page from my holiday homework notebook

>i write "WHO ARE YOU" in capital letters

>i fold it and put it in the hole

>that night i cannot sleep

>i lie between tatayya and ammamma on the verandah cot

>tatayya coughs, ammamma tells him "this is because of those beedis"

>"i stopped" tatayya says

>"you stopped on paper" she says

>he laughs and coughs again

>next afternoon i run to the cowshed

>my note is gone

>there is a different paper

>small, from a calendar

>written in pencil, in telugu

>"nenu" it says

>"me"

>that is all

>i did not sleep that night either

>i did not go to the cowshed for two days

>on the third day i went

>because my marble was inside

>i took the brick out

>everything was there, my coins, kapil dev, the feather

>and one more peppermint

>i took my things and the peppermint also

>i put the brick back and i did not open it again

>that summer ended

>we went back to hyderabad

>next summer tatayya was not well

>the summer after that he was not there

>the house was locked for some years, then sold

>ammamma came to live with us

>she lived with us for eleven years

>one night when i was 22 she was sitting on the sofa

>we were watching some old film on gemini

>a man in the film was smoking a beedi

>ammamma laughed

>"your tatayya" she said

>"forty years he hid his beedis from me"

>"i searched the whole house"

>"inside the rice drum, inside the almirah, inside his umbrella"

>"never found"

>"one summer he stopped, just like that"

>"i was very happy"

>"later only he told me"

>"he had a secret place behind the cowshed"

>"a loose brick"

>"one day he went to take his beedi"

>"and he found a marble and three rupees inside"

>"and a picture of some cricketer"

>"he said, the place belongs to the small one now"

>"so he stopped"

>"he gave it to you, you know that?"

>she was looking at the tv when she said it

>i was looking at the tv also

>"what brick ammamma" i said

>"i do not know" she said

>"he told me some boy's story, i do not know which boy"

>she laughed and pulled her pallu over her shoulder

>i still have the green marble

>i still do not like peppermint

>i ate both of them, the second one also, on the bus back home