Greentext · 4 minThe Crow On The Wall

>be me, 10 years

>summer 1993, ammamma and tatayya's house in kovur, near nellore

>red tiled roof, a mud compound wall all around

>on that wall, every day, a crow

>ammamma says if a crow sits on the wall and calls

>somebody is coming to the house

>"the crow knows before the post man knows" she says

>she says it while grinding chutney

>like she is telling the weather

>and when the crow calls, she makes extra

>one more pesarattu, one more ladle of rice in the pot

>"if they come, what will they eat, our faces?"

>i ask "who is coming"

>she does not say

>but i know who she means

>srinu mama

>her son, amma's younger brother

>he works in a company in madras

>two years ago he came for sankranti

>he and tatayya had a fight in the verandah

>about selling the coconut garden

>i was eight, i remember only the loud part

>tatayya said "then do not come"

>mama said "i will not"

>and he took the five o clock bus

>since then, nothing

>no letter, no money order, no visit

>tatayya does not say his name

>ammamma does not say his name in front of tatayya

>but every day the crow calls on the wall

>and every day ammamma makes extra

>and at four o clock she sends me to the bus stop

>"just go and see"

>"see what"

>"just see"

>the four o clock bus from nellore comes

>i stand under the tamarind tree

>people get down with bags

>none of them is mama

>i walk back

>ammamma is at the gate

>she does not ask

>i shake my head

>she goes in

>at night the extra pesarattu goes on the wall for the crow

>this happened every day for three weeks

>the crow was very fat by the end

>one afternoon tatayya is sleeping

>ammamma is at the temple

>i find tatayya's green diary in the almirah

>the one with all the addresses

>under s, in tatayya's big handwriting

>srinivasa rao, and an address in madras

>i take five rupees from my vacation money

>walk to the post office

>buy one inland letter

>sit on the post office step and write

>in my best telugu, which is not very good

>"mama, the crow is shouting on our wall every day"

>"ammamma makes extra pesarattu every day"

>"nobody comes, so the crow is eating it"

>"the crow is very fat now"

>"please come before it bursts"

>"this is not from ammamma, this is from me"

>i lick it and close it

>i post it

>i tell nobody

>one week, nothing

>the crow still calls

>ammamma still makes extra

>i still go to the bus stop

>ten days

>twelve days

>i start feeling stupid

>maybe he did not get it

>maybe he got it and laughed

>fifteenth day, four o clock bus

>i am under the tamarind tree, not even looking properly

>a man gets down with a vip suitcase

>sunglasses

>a moustache he did not have before

>he looks at me

>"which crow is fat" he says

>i ran

>i ran all the way to the house without him

>i shouted from the gate

>ammamma came out with wet hands

>she saw him coming down the road with the suitcase

>she did not run

>she stood there holding the gate

>"i told you" she said to nobody

>"the crow knows"

>then she started crying and scolding at the same time

>"two years, two years you could not write one letter"

>mama looked at me

>i looked at the crow

>tatayya came out on the verandah

>lungi, banian, spectacles on his forehead

>he looked at mama

>mama looked at him

>nobody said anything for a long time

>then tatayya said "you came by the four o clock?"

>"yes nanna"

>"it is always late"

>"forty minutes"

>"hm"

>and he went in and sat in his chair

>that was the whole fight finished

>at night mama and i slept on the terrace

>he took the inland letter out of his shirt pocket

>folded many times, soft at the corners

>"you have eleven spelling mistakes" he said

>"i corrected them in the train"

>"i did not tell ammamma" i said

>"good" he said

>"let her believe the crow"

>he put it back in his pocket

>later that night i got up to drink water

>the verandah light was off

>tatayya was standing at the compound wall

>putting a ball of rice on the wall

>he did not see me

>he stood there a long time, looking at the dark road

>the crow came every day after that also

>ammamma kept making extra

>nobody asked her why anymore